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How To Fix a Broken Relationship: 7 Proven Tips for Rebuilding
Relationship Advice

How To Fix a Broken Relationship: 7 Proven Tips for Rebuilding

It's disheartening when you feel like you're in a broken relationship. Here's how to make things work with your partner to help rekindle the love you once had.

Together Team
May 28, 2022

There are few things that are as disheartening and sad as a failing relationship. In the beginning, you both just want to be together more than anything else. But things change over time, and change is inevitable. If you want to know how to adapt to that change and make things work with your partner, we’ll share proven tips for how to fix a broken relationship. 

What Is a Broken Relationship?

When a couple first starts out as lovebirds, everything feels great. There’s a sense of possibility, and a sense of immense gratitude for each other. But somewhere along the line, things can start to unravel. 

There are many ways a relationship can turn from functional to dysfunctional. Every relationship is different from the next, but there are common patterns in what breaks a relationship down. 

Perhaps you had expectations that you feel your partner has failed to live up to. Maybe one of you betrayed the other’s trust. It could be that things just became stale and uninteresting, with all the excitement disappearing into thin air. 

It’s never really one single thing that causes a relationship to get broken. Things get worse and worse, and issues pile up on other issues until things just get too overwhelming. The relationship no longer feels the same as when you both first started out. 

Signs of a Broken Relationship

If you’re still not quite sure if your relationship is broken, there are some red flags to look out for. If you and your partner are going through these issues, your relationship might be falling apart at the seams:

  • Heated arguments
  • Constant bickering and fighting
  • Sexual intimacy problems
  • Disagreements about how to raise kids
  • Cheating
  • Fights about money
  • Feeling distant from each other
  • Feeling misunderstood by each other

If you recognize these symptoms, you’re probably wondering if this means the end. Is your relationship doomed to fail, or is there still hope?

Can You Fix a Broken Relationship?

Yes! There’s no need to feel hopeless. Many relationships have recovered from being in a state of ruin to being loving, fulfilling relationships again. It’s quite possible to repair a broken relationship, although it will probably be a difficult process, as things are often harder to put back together than they are to break. 

There are a few questions you’ll want to ask yourself and your partner in order to know whether your relationship can be fixed. This is going to be a challenging journey, so answer these questions with honesty.

Are You Both Committed To Repairing This Relationship?

No matter how much one person wants to rebuild a relationship, if the other person doesn’t feel the same, it can’t be fixed. Are you and your partner on the same page about wanting to revive the love you once had?

If you are both ready and fully committed to undertake this journey together, there’s a lot of hope for your relationship yet. You’ll need to work on yourselves a lot, both as individuals and as a couple. 

Do You Have Respect for Each Other?

You and your partner might not meet eye to eye on everything. In fact, in a lot of relationships, the couple’s differing views can balance each other out. What needs to be determined is if you and your partner have an underlying respect for each other. 

To have a healthy relationship, respect for one another is absolutely essential. You’ve got to be able to honor each other’s feelings and perspective. Both of you need to genuinely want the best for each other. 

Do You Want To Forgive Each Other?

In any broken relationship, both people have a part to play in what’s gone wrong. The key is to let go of blame — both of your partner and of yourself. Holding onto things that have hurt you or have made you angry will make your relationship impossible to fix. 

It might take a bit of time to fully let these feelings go, but you both need to be committed to working through things so that forgiveness can eventually happen. 

Were your answers to these questions “yes”? Are you and your partner willing to do some hard work on your relationship? If so, then you’re already on your way to fixing your broken relationship. But how exactly do you do that?

How To Fix a Broken Relationship

Fixing a broken relationship takes time and a lot of effort, but it can be done. Here are 7 proven tips for repairing a damaged relationship that will help you and your partner get back on track. 

1. Admit Your Role in the Damage

It’s easy to play the blame game in relationships. Not taking responsibility for your role in the relationship’s problems might become a habit where you don’t even realize you’re doing it. In order for a broken relationship to heal, you have to learn how to take ownership of what you’ve done wrong. 

This means coming to an understanding that everything you say and do affects your partner. Are you telling them things that leave them feeling empowered, or upset? Taking responsibility in a relationship requires self-awareness. 

When your partner points something out that you’re doing wrong, do you get defensive? If so, you’re not alone. Reacting defensively is a common way of handling criticism, but it’s not healthy. Instead, take a deep breath and accept what you’ve done to hurt your partner. 

Taking ownership for your words and actions shows your partner that you’re willing to be open and honest. This will encourage your partner to behave the same way towards you. Next time you’re getting defensive, stop for a moment and consider the situation from your partner’s perspective. 

2. Learn Better Ways to Communicate

Breakdowns in communication are one of the most common underlying causes of relationship problems. If you often feel unheard or misunderstood, the chances are you and your partner aren’t communicating well. 

Be open-minded to learning about new and better ways to communicate. Being overly aggressive in the way you speak to your partner will only get negative results. In the same way, being too passive won’t work either. The type of communication that helps relationships to heal is assertive communication. 

With assertive communication, you stay very factual, don’t judge or label your partner, and don’t exaggerate. The perfect sentence structure when pointing out something you don’t like is this: “When you [name the behavior in a factual way], then [results of that behavior], and I feel [how you feel]”.

3. Apologize and Forgive

When couples continue holding onto the hurtful things they’ve done to each other, it can eventually create hate and resentment between them. The only way to keep things from snowballing is to practice giving heartfelt apologies and being open to forgiveness. 

If you’re the one who has done something hurtful to your partner, make an effort to ask for their forgiveness. It might take some time for them to forgive you, but this will start the process. 

So how do you apologize in the most effective way? Be genuine and authentic, showing that you regret hurting your partner in this way. Commit to not repeating the behavior, and make a plan of action to make things better.

If you’re the one that’s been hurt, stay open to the idea of forgiving your partner. Make a conscious decision that this is what you want to do. Don’t bring up the hurtful behavior as ammunition in arguments, and certainly don’t look for ways to get back at them. 

4. Express Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful thing. It can change your mindset and outlook completely, and heal a broken relationship very effectively. It might seem a bit unnatural at first, but developing the habit of being grateful is important to making a relationship work. 

What are some ways that you can practice gratitude in your relationship? Here are some ideas to try:

  • Write a list of 5 things you are grateful for in your partner. You can repeat this every day by keeping a gratitude journal 
  • Think about all the good memories you have with your partner, and bring those happy experiences up in conversations with them
  • Focus on daily acts of kindness. What can you do today to be kind to your partner?
  • Tell your partner how grateful you are when they do something kind for you, even if it’s just a small action that helped
  • Write a love letter to your partner. Tell them about the 5 things in your gratitude list, what made you fall in love with them, and what you love about them now

5. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

It’s quite possible that your partner is trying their very best to show you they love you, but not in a way that you realize. In his book The Five Love Languages, psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman tells us that each person understands love in their own “love language”. This means what makes us feel love doesn’t necessarily make your partner feel the same. 

Want to find out what you and your partner’s love languages are? This quick quiz will tell you. By learning each other’s love language, you and your partner can figure out how to show each other love in ways that really work. 

If your partner’s love language is “Words of Affirmation”, try giving them lots of praise – they’ll feel really appreciated and loved. If “Quality Time” is their thing, sit down and have proper, focused conversations with them, or watch a movie together. Or maybe your partner feels love when they receive gifts, so pick up a nice bunch of flowers for them on the way home.

6. Schedule Quality Time Together

When was the last time you and your partner went on a date? There’s a good chance it was a while ago. One important way to fix a broken relationship is make it a priority to spend time with your partner. And make sure it’s quality time by putting all your attention on the other person.

Set a goal to have a date night once a week. Make sure it’s on a day of the week where neither of you have anything happening that might cause you to cancel a date. Stick to the weekly date schedule – you’ll find it helps you and your partner’s trust to grow. 

When you’re on your date night, give your partner your undivided attention. That means putting away your phone and looking at the other person. This will show that you care about your partner, and the relationship. 

Choose ideas for date nights that your partner will like, not just things you want to do. You don’t have to go out to a fancy dinner or see an expensive show – in fact, inexpensive date nights will allow you to maintain the weekly schedule. 

7. Rebuild Trust

Trust is an essential foundation to any relationship. You have to feel safe with your partner, but sometimes things happen that breaks that trust. So how do you rebuild that trust when it’s been damaged? 

The partner who has committed the betrayal of trust should start by being upfront and clear about the details of what happened. This may be uncomfortable but it will give some perspective to the person who has been betrayed. 

It’s important not to bottle in feelings of anger and sadness. The person who has been hurt should openly express how they feel, and the offending partner should too. Sitting and talking regularly will help you both to share your thoughts and emotions. 

Next, make a committed decision that this won’t happen again. Both you and your partner should come to an agreement about how things will be done in the future so that no one ends up hurt in this way.  

Now isn’t a time for harboring resentment towards each other. Now’s the time to start over. 

How to Start Over in a Broken Relationship

Have the courage to try things over again. A good start for couples who want to start over their broken relationship is to speak to a relationship expert. Going to couples therapy is dedicated time to resolving issues, with the valuable guidance of a professional.

Fall in love with your partner again. Try to impress them as you did when you first met. Spend time together having fun, not just talking about how bad things are. Over time you will start to see your relationship rekindle and the joy of love start to return. 

Begin Your Journey of Healing Today

There’s no time like now to start the healing process for your relationship. With these tips, you should be able to experience some breakthroughs and start to repair your damaged relationship. Again, it won’t be a quick process, and it won’t be easy, but your relationship is worth putting in the effort for.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Together Team

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